Leomund's Lamentable Belaborment

This devious spell distracts the subject creatures by drawing them into an absorbing discussion on topics of interest to them. A chain of responses occurs during the next 11 rounds, with additional saving throws as described later. These responses are conversation (rounds 1-3), possible confusion (rounds 4-6), and then either rage or lamentation (rounds 7-11). All saving throws are affected by the creatures' Intelligences, as noted later. The subject creatures must be able to understand the language in which the spellcaster speaks.

Upon casting the spell, the wizard begins discussion of some topic germane to the creature or creatures to be affected. Those making a successful saving throw vs. spell are unaffected. Affected creatures immediately begin to converse with the spellcaster,agreeing or disagreeing, all most politely. As long as the spellcaster chooses, he can maintain the spell by conversing with the subject(s). If the caster is attacked or otherwise distracted, the subject creatures do not notice.

The wizard can leave at any time after the casting and the subject(s) continue on as if the caster were still present. As long as they are not attacked, the creatures ignore all else going on around them, spending their time talking and arguing to the exclusion of other activities. However, when the caster leaves, each subject completes only the stage of the spell that it is currently in, and then the spell is broken.

If the caster maintains the spell for more than three rounds, each affected creature can roll another saving throw vs. spell. Those failing to save wander off in confusion for 1d10+2 rounds, staying away from the spellcaster. Those who make this saving throw continue to talk and roll saving throws for each round that the caster continues the spell, up through the sixth round, to avoid the confusion effect.

If the spell is maintained for more than six rounds, each subject must roll a successful saving throw vs. spell to avoid going into a rage, attacking all other subjects of the spell with intent to kill. This rage lasts for 1d4+1 rounds. Those who successfully save against the rage effect realize that they have been deceived and collapse to the ground, lamenting their foolishness, for 1d4 rounds unless attacked or otherwise disturbed.

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